4 Steps to the Forgiveness Process

Updated: Nov 6, 2020

Forgiveness (of oneself or others) is a deliberate and intentional act. Forgiveness transforms anger, resentment and hurt into healing and peace. Forgiveness can help you overcome feelings of depression, anxiety, and rage, as well as personal and relational conflicts.

It is about making the conscious decision to let go of a grudge. It is not about letting someone off the hook for a wrongdoing or forgetting about the past. It certainly does not mean that you stick around for future maltreatment. It is about setting yourself free so that you can move forward in your own life. Forgiveness requires a deep inquiry, within ourselves, about "our story”.

Here is a four-step process to forgive:

1. Pray. Ask for Divine Support to intervene in this situation and allow forgiveness and freedom for both of you. Trust that your Higher Power will respond. Intentional Prayer: Dear [your Higher Power], I recognize that holding onto this resentment is hurting me. I am willing to forgive. Please show me the way. Thank you, and so it is.

2. Write down the name of person(s) that you want to forgive and complete the statements.

Be honest, and get out all of your feelings. Address these statements to a specific person(s).

Name of Person(s) You Want to Forgive: _________________________________________ Date: __________

I’m angry that …

I’m hurt that …

I’m sad that …

I’m disappointed that …

I’m afraid that …

I appreciate you for …

I am willing to consider forgiving you for …

3. Acknowledge your own part in the situation. Even though you may have been “wronged,” do you have a part? What can you take responsibility for? What have you learned as a result of this situation?

4. Put on meditation music and say the following out loud:

  • Get in a relaxed state. Repeat after me: (Person’s name), I now forgive you for (_________________). I also forgive you for (____________________).

  • I release you and set you free. I let go and let [your Higher Power]’s good and happiness come into your life now.

  • I release myself and set myself free. I let go and let [your Higher Power]’s good and happiness come into my life now.

  • I now release us and set us free. I let go and let [your Higher Power]’s good and happiness come into our lives now.

Repeat the releases until you feel that the forgiveness has become manifest.

  • Now, see this person going in a red balloon into the sky, into the ethers, releasing this for [your Higher Power] to take care of, until you can no longer see it.

You can do this!

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